Ode on the Dismissal of Scolari
Feb 9th, 2009 by Ashley
Preface
When Mourinho left upon “mutual understanding”, I wrote a song lamenting his departure (there’s no way I’m gonna bring it into light.) When Grant was relived of his managerial duty, I felt bad for all the malicious thoughts I had toward him which now seems uncalled for. And this time when Scolari was disgracefully discharged, I wrote an Ode.
T’was the summer of 2008,
Mixed with extreme joy and despair,
road to Moscow, the Cup was there 1
slipped upon Chels’ grasp;
For Henri Delaunay, their hope held high, 2
Portugal failed to reach.
So to Stamford Bridge Scolari arrived, 3
World Cup in his hand, Euro left behind. 4
Distressed Terry looked at his feet, 5
With shorted shorts Lamps by his side, 6
Hearing Big Phil proclaimed,
“I shall ye trophy bring!”
Cheering Blues, Deco and Bosingwa joined,
Exciting passing flowed on the green;
Sidelines Felipe jumped and waved,
Games in total control.
Top of the league we remained,
Though grievously shared with the reds. 7
While busy mocking whiny Gallas, 8
Misery came unannounced.
Top of the board we dropped,
Losing point after point to mediocre clubs.
Roma, Manure, the Scouse and Le Arse, 9
Not to mention some mystic B-rn-ley from afar. 10
Rumors roaring here and there,
Some doom pronounced, some peace painted.
Gloominess hovering above the Bridge,
Drogba (again) threatened to leave.
No passion at sight on the field
We draw the city of Hull. 11
Monday morning Roman rattled us all, 12
Big Phil dismissed and Wilkins enthroned. 13
One advice for you (and Sheva too) said Gray, 14
“Not all that tempts your wandering eyes
And heedless heart is lawful.
Not all glisters gold.”
1 European Champions League title
2 Henri Delaunay, the name of the trophy of Euro08
3 Chelsea FC stadium
4 Scolari won the WC in 2002 with Brazil
5 JT missed the crucial penalty in the final of UCL
6 Lamps likes his shorts short
7 Reds, the Scouse. ok… Liverpool, if you must.
8 Arsenal’s former captain William Gallas, who likes to whine.
9 AS Roma, Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal respectively but disrespectfully.
10 In Spring 2008, Barnsley advanced to the quarter final of FA cup by beating Chelsea 1-0. Chelsea’s reach for Carling Cup this season curiously stumbled when they came across Burnley and lost 4-5 on penalties.
11 Hull City FC
12 Roman Abramovich, the owner of Chelsea FC
13 Ray Wilkins, assistant manager now acts as the caretaker of the team.
14 Thomas Gray and his poem “Ode on the Death of a Favorite Cat”.