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I am Your Sunshine

words are for those with promises to keep

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between one thing and the other

Nov 29th, 2006 by Ashley

Seeing how Miles compromised for money and for long-term friendship, I gradually understand X’s choice back then. I still cannot forgive, but then I know if I were him, I’d probably do the same. It’s just a simple question, if you inevitably are gonna get someone hurt, who would you choose. In the movie, Maya cannot believe how Miles could knowingly let things happen. For me, the wound is deeper. Maya and Miles were both bystanders in Jack’s horrendous prenup act. I was the one involved and hit directly by this so-called friendship. Well, the past is the past. I’ve already let it go. But history tends to repeat itself in whatever format it seems fit. And you’d be amazed by how people measure the importance of different things. The peace between bare acquantances and a possible life-long friend and soul mate. What were they thinking, you frowned. Sometimes, it’s just plain playing-it-safe, nothing more.

The book lost a little bit of its taste when being dragged too long. Actions one followed another packed tightly together and a billowing surge of emotions overwhelmes. I’m left breathless, forbidden to use words, and forbidden to express myself. Or why can’t I yell when I feel like exploding? Why do I have to contain it when it’s flooding everywhere? It’s so strong that you’d understand even if I’m talking nonsense. So what the silence is about? I’m left in the unfathomable nothing and ironically I heard my own voice saying “a leap in the dark” and I pictured you laughing at my face. Where did it go wrong?

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