The Need to Tell
Feb 25th, 2009 by Ashley
I think I finally figure out why my “production” always drop dramatically when I’m in a relationship.
I have a need to express whatever come over me, however grand or insignificant, and the most common way is to write it down. However, when I’m in a relationship, I tend to tell the other person whatever it is on my mind, for communication and mutual inspiration is what I deem most important in a relationship, or rather, what makes a relationship pertinent. Usually the frequency of the conversation determines the rawness of a thought. Once a “thought” is expressed, I’m less inclined (nor feel the need) to put it in writing, especially those undeveloped.
I came to this realization today when I flipped through my notes and came across a fragment of a fragment which I was trying to write. It was an observation of a delicate psychology of one incident of interpersonal interaction. It intrigued me and I tried to put it in words as accurate as possible. I wanted to reconstruct the scene, with moderated dialogue so that it wouldn’t be recognized, and portray the idea in a natural, yet personal, way rather than bluntly stating the conclusion. However, I told a friend the essence of this observation the other day and apparently that put my mind at rest. I left it there, along with other pages of scribbles, gradually being forgotten.