Who can I turn to? I guess I always know. It’s just that so many things I wanna say but don’t know to whom I can talk. I felt too much and my thought’s often a mess lately. I broke the promise I made to myself but it seems ok at this moment. In fact, I think it turned out to be “beneficial” in some way. I was not able to work for a while cuz the project I suppose to focus on involves you. Seeing something, picking up some fragments of facts help, I suppose. Tim keeps telling me not to jodge from the very limited info I’ve got. It’s often bias thus meaningless, but you know, how can I help it? It’s creepy finding out how alike a and I are. Maybe it’s just me making connection to everything; perhaps they don’t mean a thing, but still, you know me, I like to take everything as signs and to think that everything has a meaning behind. It’s a story of chaos but you can see the hidden order in it. And finally I realized what a’s doing, why did a react differently with what we expected. a’s still trying… though it’s not about winning or losing. a calculates, so it’s not pure anymore, right?