I am Your Sunshine

I didn’t like LA. I like SF, but east coast is always the love of my life. But recently I found that I got quite a few friends in LA (family included) and since my last visit (So Cal one day trip XD), I grew to like LA bit by bit. It sure is more fun and the most important of all, “friends”!

I was talking to Jas and Tim on our way to LAX. I said it seems that I’ve started to like LA better than Bay Area, and it seems that I like wherever there’s friend. I love Tiapei cuz it’s home; I love Hsin Chu cuz it’s home to me as well, got tons and tons of memories there; I love Buffalo cuz I had Moni and Adam and other people sharing my time there, and Moni is practically my kindred spirit. And I like LA not only becuz the better Taiwanese food there but the friends I got there. We’re like really connected. We care and we can really enjoy being with one another. It’s really a blast.

People asked me where I went and what I did. I didn’t go anywhere as a tourist (though Jas did show me around) but had lots of good food and met lots of friends. It was the purpose of my trip from the very beginning. I’d love to visit again just to hang with you guys… Hopefully one more time in this year ;)

ps. I’m glad I finally met my dear miss Tian. I missed her last Thanksgiving becuz she lost her cell -_- We havent met for like… at least 4 yrs. And it’s also great finally gotta see Tim after we amazingly became acquainted in the past 2 months after 10 yrs. Awesome to catch up with Justine. Hey, Jas, are you mad cuz I seemed to forget to mention you? Don’t be silly… You’re the reason I went there. Other people are just “by the way”. ;)

i might write about it when i get back
but perhaps not…

i’m so stupid…. just a few simple words can hurt me again. I broke the promise I made to myself… And instantly I got the consequence. Now that I’m all alone. I don’t know where she’s been. A bit worried, but mostly, solitude makes me… think of…. you know.

Es reduziert mein Appetit, Unseren Foto zu schauen

忽然發現十月有三十一天
嚇了我一大跳

dont ask me why…

心跳常常很快很快很快 很大力很大力很大力

什麼事都拖

特別是我覺得會難的事
直到真的不行時 真的開始做時 才發現其實沒那麼難
但是拖啊拖 常常拖掉了一些時機
拖得… 本來其實可以做更好的 結果因為太倉促而完成的很勉強

蠻好看的.
四個漂亮的姐妹, 不同的個性, 面臨各樣的問題
很有意思 :)

除了capricious(caprice), sophisticated,cynical, skeptical之外
差點忘了以前就很喜歡的paranoid ~~

距離回家還有兩個多月
我的小護士藥用好像用到最後一支了 (剩下半公分不到)
需要從台灣補充嗎? 還是去試試大受好評的Kiehl’s 或是回頭用carmax
本來是急著想看最新的Harry Potter
但這陣子什麼興趣都消失了
十月應該要振作 把事情處理處理 帳戶的事 再試試信用卡
還有 The West Wing第四季以及Felicity 的DVD
可是我卻什麼都不想做

除了本來打算的 還多了很多事要做 寫在剛剛的note裡了
卻還是很想把自己丟在床上或地上 等著爛掉
時間 時間 給自己時間吧
偏生我是最最急性子的 即使自己也不願等
我拖著拐著 而自己是自己 甩也甩不開 脫也脫不掉

也許我現在是24年來最需要人陪伴的狀態
卻身在24年來最寂寞的地方…
25歲生日會有親愛的人陪我過 但累積的情緒可以壓抑到那時候嗎?
11月底 Buffalo下雪了沒? 把我埋起來好嗎…

什麼時候開始注意月亮?

因為它會變化, 於是不像太陽, 只有當陰天的時候我才會慘慘地想念起它
回家的路上抬頭注意星辰是已經養成了一兩年的習慣
國外的月亮沒有特別圓, 卻真的是特別大, 緯度的關係吧
我討厭當月亮彎成微笑貓的角度, 感覺很陰很邪
而圓月卻總是不那麼圓
細細的月亮有纖瘦的美 清淡細致適可而止的妝點夜空

昨天的月亮很細很美 輕輕地掛在天邊 襯著背後淺淺的黃橙與藍綠
左上方有顆大而亮的星 我猜是不是火星
大家這兩天又再度提起火星 我們無緣一起看的火星
所以我用力地看了好幾眼 有機會分享嗎? 我不知道
好多事 我都很無望的不知道…

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You’re safe and sound and
Until now it’s where I’ve been

‘Cause it’s been fear that ties me down to everything
But it’s been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I’m spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I’m ready to jump
Even ready to fall…

Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I’ve never known a fire that didn’t begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I’m gone

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

可以從我的msn照片看出端倪
當我心情混亂的時候 覺得放什麼照片都不對
一片空白 就會出現了…

其實還是有不多不少的我們
仍在跟所謂現實抗爭
黑暗 灰色地帶 潮流
有多少個我們可以堅持著自己呢
如果多一點 世界就會更好一點吧
看到自己認識的同學朋友們 還是會有著一些理想 也許不是很偉大的
有時就會覺得 那世界怎麼還會是這樣呢?
難道說, 就剛好只有我們這一群人
比較怪 比較特異
不可能吧…

所以我說, Nagi 加油 還有一切抱著大大小小的純真的人加油

Someone called and asked for our prior IT manager (whose ext apparently was the one I’m using now). Well-trained, I politely told her that he doesn’t work here anymore, and asked her if she’d like me to transfer her to our new IT manager (my superior). She gladly said yes and thanked me. But in fact, my “superior” has already told me that he won’t be in after 4pm… I thought it’s too much trouble to explain that, so I just transfer her to his ext and hopefully she will leave a msg :)

Well, I think I can do better next time.

Oh and there’s another thing. This morning I almost mistaken one of our dealer (or customer?) to telemarketing guy and almost followed my boss’ example and shouted at him. Fortunately I realized what he’s really up to before I formed the words. I guess I’ll need to pay more attention what people are saying, cuz it’s so easy to wonder and not knowing that I’m not actually listening when they speak in English! XD

剛打算把 I kissed Dating Goodbye 還有 Noy Meets Girl (送人)買下來
在Christian Book跟Amazon比價, 因為Amazon可以免運費, 所以還是比較便宜
於是我決定順便也把 A Woman after God’s Heart
跟A Man after God’s Heart(還是送人) 買下來
超過$25.00才免運費嘛
結果快check out的時候, 前兩本忽然硬生生地從$9.70一起變成$10.39
氣死我了… 雖然說加起來, 還是比在ChristianBook 加上運費還要稍便宜一點點
但還是覺得很不爽
哪有這樣坐地起價的啦

搞什麼到我的blog來大放厥詞啊

不要看我整個暑假都只看商業片就說這種話
那是有原因的好嗎…

但不喜歡Mr. Smith 又怎樣?
我就是討厭Mr. Smith (Goes to Washington), 我就是愛死了Mr. Deeds (Goes to Town)
怎樣?

馬的心情已經夠不好了
還被莫名其妙的簡體字人批評
Scheisse!

Enoch threw another case scenario for people to answer:

can u live without tv or internet or whatever u like to do for a month?

the following is my reply:
TV and Internet are two necessities of my life. Once I’m like cyrstal, I cannot imagine life without those. But I’ve experienced life without Internet and it turned out to be just fine. So I guess when I have those stuffs, I don’t think I can live without them, but when they’re really taken away, I’ll realize I can actually do well without them. ;)

It’s amazing… I actually realized something while I was typing along. The fact that I can actually live without things I can’t imagine living without.

果然啊… 我還想這麼難 是不是有哪裡出了問題
原來你從不曾說會很容易 但是你會一直陪著我度過

結果真的很神奇呢
才經過兩天不到 我又很沒骨氣地不吃不喝地枯等
覺得這樣不行 正想換換衣服去公司泡熱巧克力喝 (不太敢喝熱水瓶裡的水 放了不知幾周)
結果房東就告訴我說她滷了一鍋豬腳+蛋+豆乾 叫我自己去拿一些
真的用奇妙的方式照顧我 即使我又笨回去了…