I am Your Sunshine

Ginny Owens – If You Want Me To
From the album Without Condition

The pathway is broken
The signs are unclear
I can’t find the reason why You led me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Now I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise
You’re not through with me yet
And if all of these trials can make me like You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
‘Cause it leads me through a world that’s not my home
But You never said it would be easy
Only that I’ll never go alone

When the whole world turns against me
And I’m all by myself
And I can’t hear You answer my cries for help
I’ll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

然後在電話裡對著貓痛哭流涕半小時~
還好燈光昏暗 似乎沒有人注意到我的異樣
只是之後 我再也沒有力氣跟心情跳舞或移動

When you try your best but you don’t succeed,
When you get what you want but not what you need,
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep,
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose something you can’t replace,
When you love someone but it goes to waste,
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
to Fix you.

And high up above or down below,
When you’re too in love to let it go.
If you never try you’ll never know,
Just what you’re worth.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
to Fix you.

The tears stream, down on your face,
When you lose something you cannot replace.
The tears stream, down on your face tonight.

The tears stream, down on your face,
I promise you I will learn from mistakes.
The tears stream, down on your face tonight.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
To Fix you.

(有趣的歌)

Continue Reading »

for about half an hour
and then I turned on the speaker
played Round Here as an end

still got a burger to finish
hope I got the appetite for cool burger
at least the sorrow cannot fool me anymore
yeah I still got an empty stomach instead of full

第二首愛詩出爐

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

– William Butler Yeats

嚴格說來大概不能算第二首
如果我把 Arthur William Edgar O’Shaughnessy 的 Ode 也算進去的話

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams

第一首則是李後主的清平樂

別來春半 觸目愁腸斷

如果不把小時候喜歡的醜奴兒算進去的話

欲說還休 卻道天涼好個秋

不到 也許是故意的
因為我自制力差
但R說不是自制力 是選擇 是相信

and He keeps sending angels….

比我想像的漂亮

you can’t help but wonder,
“so he writes… but to whom?”
to himself perhaps. you answer yourself.
apparently not to you, anyway.
but you know you long to read his words
it’s like a gateway to his mind and heart
doesnt it sound tempting?
it’s human nature to want to understand
but you especially yearn to probe

and now the story cannot continue
cuz your brain stop to function
and darn the sheet is still wet (you suppose)

反而容易多了

我不用等 (還是要等床單乾 /_\)
不用上上下下
只要在天黑之前 查好direction

然後九月也一下子就過去了呢

整個夏天似乎總在數著日子
一個又一個的分水嶺 一直拖延的截止日期
不斷出乎意料的過去 仍舊無法預測的未來
忽上忽下不停起伏的心情 反反覆覆下不了決心的決心
一步步脫軌的劇情 太多人一起寫的劇本

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don’t patronize – don’t patronize me

CHORUS:
Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t

I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me
Morning will come and I’ll do what’s right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

CHORUS:
Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t

heard this twice in a day
you know i’m a person who takes every little thing as a sign…
and i sigh

是不是這樣

shouldnt take it literally??

Hey you
I’ll sing you a song
a happy happy birthday song

and can you
make me a wish
one of ur wish can be all the best for me

so light a candle on your invisible cake
while i’m singing you can say the prayer
“oh i want her all the happiness in the world”
and dont worry you still have two

so happy birthday my dear
and wish me happiness

生日快樂生日快樂生日快樂!!!!!!!

11 days and I’ll meet Jas in LA
58 days left and I’ll go back to my Buffalo
87 days left then I’ll be in my home sweet home

I guess the reason why I’m so nervous is because I cannot come up with any idea about what I’m to do. Feel like flaoting in the air. I hate the feeling that I cannot touch the ground. And now I’m feelint it right now. I can’t think straight. I can’t think of anything at all. I cannot rationalize it. I cannot figure it out. I cannot analyze it. I cannot draw a tree graph and come up with all the possibilities and all the possible solutions. I’m unprepared. That’s why I’m so nervous. And the thing is… I’m not unprepared cuz I’m lazy. I’m unprepared cuz hell I dont’ have a tiny bit idea of what I can do. So I sit here, keep talking to myself. A way of distracting. Oh man, it’s nothing like expecting a transcript. It’s much more horrifying than that. (talk as if receiving a transcript is a torture for me. No no, not at all.)

and now, no music will do, but no music will drive me nuts. Can you just kill me instead of stabbing me? Can you just hang me instead of hanging me there in the wind? and now, I again have the mood for wandering. I wanna throw myself to somewhere I dont know. Unprepared. It’s ok, right? At least I’m not sitting here and get rottened. Oh I wanna bury myself. I won’t feel anything that way right? I hate that I feel too much, think too much, talk too much, and read too much into things. I wanna stop the whole crap.

要戒掉問有標準答案的問題

I’m not gonna drink thru this.
And as a matter of fact, it’s not that tempting anyways.
Hard to believe huh? I even got a bottle of Belvedere at hand…