I am Your Sunshine

開著暖氣, 電視轉到cable附的音樂頻道 Stage & Screen, 放的是電視電視配樂或是音樂劇的曲目, 窩在一躺就陷下去的沙發上看書. 聽到覺得好聽的就抬起頭看一下, 結果是 Alexandre Desplat, 真是很喜歡他的配樂啊…

雖然 chun 的神秘事件讓我們晚了一小時才出發, 但她很有義氣地請我們吃了Santa Ramen, 我們還趁在等位子時跑去對面的日本超市買零食. 我很節制地只買了三樣, 但還是花掉快$9 @_@ 歡樂地吃了拉麵又吃了奶茶巧克力當甜點, 浩浩蕩蕩前往舊金山. 停好車, 買好電影票, 在溫暖的 Bloomingdale 打發了一個多小時, 又聞了一次 Calyx, 還灑了點再手上, 但仍下不了決心. 跟著chun 去逛靴子, 想到我找雙黑色長靴已經找了三年了. 看到一雙麂皮還蠻喜歡, 但要 $365, 便被紛紛勸退了. 改天去 Valley Fair 玩耍好了. MI 4 很好看, 節奏緊湊, 我很喜歡其中幾個動作場景的點子. chun 說太假了, 但他就是 Mission Impossible 嘛. 看完電影前往 Union Square 觀賞聖誕樹, 回到南灣時也差不多肚子餓了就跟安主去吃貴鬆鬆但好吃的不得了的 Nami Nami, 就算是聖誕大餐吧. 真是開心的一天.

Do you want to be a luxury in life or a necessity?

就讓他唱他的獨角戲去吧.
不想當壞人, 又不想被誤認為弱者.
態度搖移因為不確定該如何定位自己.

有時覺得自己根本完全被看透了,
有時又想情況沒有自己想像得那麼糟,
更確切的是, 根本就沒有人像自己這樣關心枝微末節的定義吧.
對大部份的人而言, 早早就進展到下一章了不是嗎?

其實已經進行到下一本書了呢?
卻有著回頭翻弄的習慣.
一本早已讓你厭倦的書, 扔得不知所蹤,
卻時不時有些懊悔沒有至少翻到結局.

所謂未知的誘惑, 連美好都稱不上.
在洗去過期洗髮精空瓶 (連過期與否都是以當時發生的事件連結判斷)
不經意地製造了滿盆泡泡,
雖不致誇張地說激起了縱身而入的衝動,
但是著實喚起了溫熱安心, 知道自己身在何處的簡單幸福… 的記憶.

百思不解, 何復僅存記憶?

I sneaked into bed,
with the help of dim, yellow beams of street lamps filtered through the blinds.
I felt my way to your arms, put my icy cold fingers on;
you shivered, and moaned in comfort.
It was a warm October night.

With my eyes closed, edging my head towards you
until our skin gently touched.

I smelled Osmanthus.

There was no actual scent present, rather,
it was a piece of memory somehow linked to the lush, yet innocent fragrance.
The brain perceived no difference.

I saw the vastness of green, with hints of clear blue sky through the cracks.
I could barely keep my eyes open, for vivid sunlight proclaiming summertime.
And then I saw the delicate, tiny flowers that are so easily to be ignored,
and the sweet scent that invites, not just invites, but allures and hypnotizes.

I kept my eyes shut, lingered in the moment,
with you.

看了之前很紅的告白, 除了”日本人真是扭曲變態”之外, 這個故事也讓我深深地感受到了事情的真相可以有好多面, 就如歷史, 每個人所知道所相信的只能是他片面的認知, 完全的真相通常連當事人都無法知道, 畢竟我們的一舉一動往往都是跟他人相連. 與其說不知道該相信什麼, 不如說在對同一事件不同的認知之下, 我們究竟能拼湊出多少事實; 又, 事情完全的真相真的重要嗎?

Careless attitudes, words that are not meant.

I’m so easily rankled by such things.

A little frog hopped toward me unexpectedly the other day while I was going through my stuffs.
I picked it up, contemplated for a bit.

I thought about the chance that it’d ever mean anything to me some day.

I threw it away.
It landed on its back, feeling nothing; or so I suspected.

I’m inclined to keep every little thing. Almost a hoarder. But in recent years I’ve been learning. Learning to let go of things and I can say I’ve improved quite a lot. Throwing away things that sort of have sentimental value but basically are trash is one. Thank goodness, or unfortunately(?), we rely heavily on technology nowadays and not much is tangible anymore. We can simply delete, or leave the stuffs there without acknowledging their existence until the drive dies or the service become unavailable. Like the email addresses of youth we no longer recall, those ridiculously amateurish websites that only exists in some obscure cache, and the private or public blogs that recorded our love once so strong.

But goodbye, little frog. Not that I have a strong feeling toward you; it’s just that I don’t have any feeling toward you.

Outstanding Comedy Series
“The Big Bang Theory” (2007)
“Glee” (2009)
“Modern Family” (2009)
“The Office” (2005)
“Parks and Recreation” (2009)
“30 Rock” (2006)

Outstanding Drama Series
“Boardwalk Empire” (2010)
“Dexter” (2006)
“Friday Night Lights” (2006)
“Game of Thrones” (2011)
“The Good Wife” (2009)
“Mad Men” (2007)

Outstanding Miniseries or Made for Television Movie
Cinema Verite (2011) (TV)
“Downton Abbey” (2010)
“The Kennedys” (2011)
“Mildred Pierce” (2011)
“The Pillars of the Earth” (2010)
Too Big to Fail (2011) (TV)

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin for “30 Rock” (2006)
Steve Carell for “The Office” (2005)
Louis C.K. for “Louie” (2010)
Johnny Galecki for “The Big Bang Theory” (2007)
Matt LeBlanc for “Episodes” (2011)
Jim Parsons for “The Big Bang Theory” (2007)

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Steve Buscemi for “Boardwalk Empire” (2010)
Kyle Chandler for “Friday Night Lights” (2006)
Michael C. Hall for “Dexter” (2006)
Jon Hamm for “Mad Men” (2007)
Hugh Laurie for “House M.D.” (2004)
Timothy Olyphant for “Justified” (2010)

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie
Idris Elba for “Luther” (2010)
Laurence Fishburne for Thurgood (2011) (TV)
William Hurt for Too Big to Fail (2011) (TV)
Greg Kinnear for “The Kennedys” (2011)
Barry Pepper for “The Kennedys” (2011)
Édgar Ramírez for “Carlos” (2010)

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Edie Falco for “Nurse Jackie” (2009)
Tina Fey for “30 Rock” (2006)
Laura Linney for “The Big C” (2010)
Melissa McCarthy for “Mike & Molly” (2010)
Martha Plimpton for “Raising Hope” (2010)
Amy Poehler for “Parks and Recreation” (2009)

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Kathy Bates for “Harry’s Law” (2011)
Connie Britton for “Friday Night Lights” (2006)
Mireille Enos for “The Killing” (2011)
Mariska Hargitay for “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (1999)
Julianna Margulies for “The Good Wife” (2009)
Elisabeth Moss for “Mad Men” (2007)

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie
Taraji P. Henson for Taken from Me: The Tiffany Rubin Story (2011) (TV)
Diane Lane for Cinema Verite (2011) (TV)
Jean Marsh for “Upstairs Downstairs” (2010)
Elizabeth McGovern for “Downton Abbey” (2010)
Kate Winslet for “Mildred Pierce” (2011)

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Ty Burrell for “Modern Family” (2009)
Chris Colfer for “Glee” (2009)
Jon Cryer for “Two and a Half Men” (2003)
Jesse Tyler Ferguson for “Modern Family” (2009)
Ed O’Neill for “Modern Family” (2009)
Eric Stonestreet for “Modern Family” (2009)

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Andre Braugher for “Men of a Certain Age” (2009)
Josh Charles for “The Good Wife” (2009)
Alan Cumming for “The Good Wife” (2009)
Peter Dinklage for “Game of Thrones” (2011)
Walton Goggins for “Justified” (2010)
John Slattery for “Mad Men” (2007)

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie
Paul Giamatti for Too Big to Fail (2011) (TV)
Brían F. O’Byrne for “Mildred Pierce” (2011)
Guy Pearce for “Mildred Pierce” (2011)
Tom Wilkinson for “The Kennedys” (2011)
James Woods for Too Big to Fail (2011) (TV)

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Julie Bowen for “Modern Family” (2009)
Jane Krakowski for “30 Rock” (2006)
Jane Lynch for “Glee” (2009)
Sofía Vergara for “Modern Family” (2009)
Betty White for “Hot in Cleveland” (2010)
Kristen Wiig for “Saturday Night Live” (1975)

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Christine Baranski for “The Good Wife” (2009)
Michelle Forbes for “The Killing” (2011)
Christina Hendricks for “Mad Men” (2007)
Kelly Macdonald for “Boardwalk Empire” (2010)
Margo Martindale for “Justified” (2010)
Archie Panjabi for “The Good Wife” (2009)

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie
Eileen Atkins for “Upstairs Downstairs” (2010)
Melissa Leo for “Mildred Pierce” (2011)
Maggie Smith for “Downton Abbey” (2010)
Mare Winningham for “Mildred Pierce” (2011)
Evan Rachel Wood for “Mildred Pierce” (2011)

Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series
“The Colbert Report” (2005)
“Conan” (2010)
“The Daily Show” (1996)
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” (2009)
“Real Time with Bill Maher” (2003)
“Saturday Night Live” (1975)

Premier Date
Wiki

Mon
2000 FOX Terra Nova (sci-fi time travel to prehistoric earth)
2030 CBS 2 Broke Girls (just for Kat Dennings) 9/19
2100 FOX Alcatraz (JJ, criminal version of 4400?)
2200 NBC The Playboy Club (set in the 60s) 9/19
2200 ABC Castle* 9/19
2200 NBC Smash (broadway behind the scenes, mid season)

Tue
2000 FOX Glee* 9/20
2100 FOX The New Girl (so cute >////< Zooey Deschanel) 9/20 2100 CW Ringer (twin thriller) 9/13 2130 ABC Apartment 23 (Krysten Ritter (L))
2200 ABC Body of Proof* 9/20
2200 CBS Unforgettable 9/20

Wed
2000 NBC Up All Night (Another baby drama!) 9/14
2030 NBC Free Agents (US remake of UK black romance comedy) 9/14
2030 ABC Suburgatory (Jane Levy’s cute but that’s it) 9/28
2100 ABC Modern Family* 9/21
2200 ABC Revenge (inspired by The Count of Monte Cristo) 9/21

Thr
2000 CBS The Big Bang Theory* 9/22
2030 CBS How to Be a Gentleman (David Foley’s grown so fat Q_Q) 9/29
2100 NBC The Office (James Spader) 9/22
2100 FOX The Finder (spin-off of Bones)
2100 CW The Secret Circle (witches witches) 9/15
2130 NBC Whitney (hmm…) 9/22
2200 NBC Prime Suspect (police procedural, Maria Bello. Toby Stephens!) 9/22

Fri
2000 CBS A Gifted Man (Jennifer Ehle! Patrick Wilson) 9/23
2100 NBC Grimm (the last Grimm!!) 10/20
2200 CBS Blue Bloods* 9/23

Sun
2000 ABC Once Upon a Time (Fairy tales) 10/23
2100 CBS The Good Wife* 9/25
2200 NBC Pam Am 9/25

NBC First Look
Awake (so touching and intriguing)
Bent (Amanda Peet, sorta meh..)

Summer Cable:
USA Suits
TNT Falling Skies
Franklin & Bash

There must be one who understands, one who can keep up. Someone who needs me, and whom I need. A person who can share and be touched by beautiful moments in life with me, while holding my hand. One who fully appreciates and cherishes my awesomeness and tolerates my shortcomings; who inspires me to better myself and is inspired by me. Surely there must be one? Even though it seems unlikely at this moment. This is probably the first time in my life that I feel genuinely lonely.