I am Your Sunshine

literally.

been busy at work. didn’t even sit for more than 2 hour the entire day.

(30 minutes passed) still, have nothing to say. weird.

Heard the song this morning on my way to work. After listening to Sarah & No Name’s curious TC interview. The very first 2 lines of lyrics caught my ears, and the rest… check it out yourself

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“If it’s too late, it’s too late. Gotta get myself up and running first. ”

And she cannot imagine not being able to be touched by music, those deep and meaningful, soul searching, refelction arousing, ripping your heart out rock music and all those magnificantly beautiful things in life. But still…

Oh, and she was asked about you the other night. Casually though, cos the person knew little about you. A rather simple question stirred something meant to be precipitated, hurled up a great angst again. She looked away while giving a blury answer, but she most likely didn’t contain herself well.

“If it isn’t too much of a trouble.” sometimes she speaks with that much politeness as if she’ll break something, probably crystal, if she isn’t gentle enough. But she’s holding that plastic cup from the very begining, and you can’t help but wonder if she has any idea or not. And she was so frustrated realizing that she cannot get those memories back and she blamed herself for not having done something to save them, you know, this is how she’s like. Holding that fucking cheap plastic cup, staining her own precious little hands, standing in the rain, numb, pale, yet you can’t believe it, beautiful. She’s sometimes like a helpless kid in the fog, in the prairie, on the sea without a guiding light and you thought she’s gonna drown, she’d cry, she’d rip her lung and shout your name but she didn’t even breathe hard.

You almost thought she’d died.

You don’t get her. And it’s so damn hard for you to perceive that she’s never to get but to be treasured in the warmth of your palm and you were out there searching, pursuing, waving the flag saying you’re going hunting. Oh how, oh my, you’re blind and you cannot hear the sigh, her very last, faint, you-have-to-listen-with-your-heart-while-it’s-soft sigh. And are you telling me that you don’t deserve to be finger-pointed at face with a harsh “shame on you”?

The glass shattered like a glamourous broken dream mezmerizing all of us, yet it’s in fact nothing else but a tragedy.
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Was reading 79th Oscar’s quote list and found the line in A Few Good Men; therefore, checking movie info on imdb, and then checked out Jack Nicholson’s info. came across the fact that he was raised by his grandmother but was led to believe that she’s his mother and his real mother his other sister which is all so familiar to me. And I knew it wasn’t Jack Nicholson. It was Bobby Darin. Coincident, of course, still it’s sort of fascinating.

The poster featured 75 memorable movie quotes from 1936 to 2005. Full quote list can be found here.
Few notes on the poster. First is that the 79th Academy Awards ceremony is going to be broadcasted (note that it’s “broadcast”, not “take place”.) on Feb 25th 5pt/8et on ABC. I’m not certain whether it’s always broadcast live (I think it is), but I surely remember the pain that having to avoid all kinds of media release (portal sites, blogs, bbs) so that my ceremony experience wouldn’t be spoiled because of pacific time zone inferiority, at the same time fighting the desire to know whether my favorites had won or not. It kills when the whole wide world is in the know and I’m not. Therefore, I’m pretty thrilled to see 5pt/8et on the poster.

Second, one line in A Few Good Men made it to the poster. “You can’t handle the truth.” It’s the scene in the court where Tom Cruise was trapped in the corner and decided to go for it with the possibility to throw everything he is away. However, he successfully irritates Jack Nicholson and lured into confession of ordering the code red. The entire dialogue was breathtaking.

Colonel Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth!
Colonel Jessep: You can’t handle the truth!
Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Colonel Jessep: You’re goddamn right I did!

But in fact, my favorite line in this movie for the past so many years is: “It doesn’t matter what I believe. It only matters what I can prove! So please, don’t tell me what I know, or don’t know; I know the LAW.” Love TC’s outbreak.
Oh I wanna watch it again.

Third, Ellen DeGeneres is the host. I think she’ll do a better job than Jon Stwert last year. She did the 57th Emmy in 2005 which was acceptable (not as good as Conan O’Brien’s 58th Emmy though.)

There are of course other quotes I like (or from the movie i’ve watched), they are as follows: Continue Reading »

到公司來查一下東西, 家裡還是沒網路
那些我該寫的, 我該回的東西都沒有時間弄
請不要覺得我是刻意忽略~

該走了

This world’s a city full of straying streets, / And death’s the market-place where each one meets

said Jane (Eve White/Eve Black), quoted Shakespeare

新家還沒裝網路 (因為一連串的延誤) 但也因此過了幾個寧靜的晚上, 認真聽了幾張專輯, 看了幾部電影, 讀了幾本書. 新家還沒有整理完畢, 一方面因為想重新安排東西擺放的位置, 一方面因為我好像感冒了.

偶爾晚上也會胡思亂想, 這種時刻就會打給 moni, 還好她回美國了.

還有什麼呢?

喔對了, 我失蹤了一個周末, 星期二上線的時候, 竟沒什麼人丟我msn, 有這麼一點點點點失落~

這個禮拜好像又很快就過去了, 但上周末距現在, 感覺卻又很遙遠. 不知道為什麼.

I’m not quite sure how.

The reason I wanna get sangria sheets and black duvet colour now seems kinda silly. I ponder where the thin fine line lies when it comes to spending money. I had a loose philosophy, that is before I started to earn my own living. If I see something I wanna have, I’d not buy it right away, but go home, let it sit for a while. If I still cannot take it off my mind, which means I really want it, I’d then go buy it, and if it’s already gone, I’d know it wasn’t meant for me. That used to serve me fine until recently. It seems that I have nothing better than thinking aboutbuying stuffs and turns out that I REALLY want everything I think I wanted. Desire runs deep while the act of purchase sometimes is actually a subconsience attempt to fulfill the emptiness in part of the life, and once you know the possibility, how can you not slow down and take a good look of your inner self and try to resolve the real problem.

When you’re pursuing a quality life, remember not to lose yourself in the vast, boundless material world.

Still, I don’t know if I should return the sheets or not.

差點忘記這個!

昨天傍晚晃進 Borders, 無意間發現 Rupert Everett 的自傳 Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins, 衝動之下差點就買下來了. 猶豫了半小時, 連逛 CD 都逛得心不在焉, 我終究還是把它放回架上, 先回家查查 amazon 的價錢再說.

多年前 Julia Roberts 的 My Best Friend’s Wedding 裡第一次注意到 Rupert Everett. 話說當年覺得海報上的男主角很帥於是對該片有頗高的期待. 沒想到 Dermot Mulroney 實際上… 不多說壞話了, 總之不是我的型, 反倒是片中女主角的 gay 好友 Rupert Everett 將我迷得昏頭轉向. 尤其喜歡他在古裝片裡的演出, 像是 An Ideal Husband 與 The Importance of Being Ernest. 文質彬彬的 Rupert Everett 從小就反骨, 小時被學校開除, 往後也不時出言不遜與媒體為敵. 然而才華洋溢風采出眾的他, 怎能叫人不愛呢?

聽 Rupert Everett 念自傳中的一個段落.

ps. 看自傳的封面, 會不會覺得有點神似我們的 Jose Mourihno?

Pick The Economist as my bed side reading last night, came across a few interesting articles. It’s the articles like these make it worth the 2 year subscription, even though I only read Science & Technology, Book & Art and Obituary section (totally beat the purpose why my mom wants me to read The Economist – to familiarize myself with the society, economy, politics and all that drag.)

The person who died last year and made it to the obituary column of this issue was Gerald Ford, the 38th President (1974–1977) of the US, at the age of 93. It’s an interesting read. To know how he reached the top of the life and then another, how his straightness refreshed as well as enraged the country.

In Book and Art section, it talks about Beatrix Potter, whose life was brought onto the big screen lately. It turned out that Miss Potter was much more than what I thought her to be. She’s not just a illustrator and storyteller, but a businesswoman and a environmentalist. Grew up in the era that female education was considered unnecessary, Miss Potter managed to acquire knowledge and skills in different areas. She then developed her interests in drawing and made a fortune out of it with a head of business. She then purchased farms and land in the Lake district and also supported the work of Canon Hardwicke Rawnsley. She was a woman with intelligence, resource, determination, and a heart for public benefits and I admire her.

Another article reviewed a book called A Perfect Mess which defends untidiness, hoarding, procrastination and improvisation, which unfortunately didn’t alleviate my guilt for being untidy.

Science & Technology section.
Psychology is always fascinating. This article talks about colour and languages. It introduced the debates about whether colour builds language or language builds colour.
And this one talks about why we are not always rational with our credit card. XD

And a special report on Country Music.

(寫的速度遠不及看的速度)
I knew Molly Ringwald from the 80s classic YA movie The Breakfast Club. A few months ago, she came to San Jose with the tour musical Sweet Charity, which made me wanna get to know her more. Therefore, I rent another famous work of hers – Pretty in Pink.

Molly Ringwald played a completely different role from the one she played in the Breakfast club, who was a popular princess in the scholl from a wealthy family, whereas her character in Pretty in Pink was sort of a social outcast, a bit awkward but smart and with a geeky friend. She’s often mocked at, but she never loses her self-esteem in the cruel American high school culture. However, when the prince charming from another social hierarchy decended and knocked on her door, she has doubts whether they could survive under the pressure from both of their friends. As she was encouraged (by her father and friend) and decided to give it a real, good try, Prince Charming backed down. (Hey, wait. Why does this sound familiar?) He could not stand the possible comtempt brought from this relationship which his alleged friend Steff lured him to believe. The movie has a happy ending that Blane, i.e. the Prince Charming, broke through his chrysalis of social hierarchy and embraced the brave and intelligent girl, Molly’s best friend was compensated with a blonde girl at the prom and Molly’s dad finally raised from the shadow of his wife’s leaving and ready to face life again.

It’s all very uplifting an cheerful. That’s there is to it. But I wanna write more about the writer of the film, John Hughes, who wrote The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, Weird Science, Ferris Beuller’s Day Off (one of my all time fav movie starring Matthew Broderick), and later, Home Alone series. He is the 80s 90s tean comedy-drama iconic writer and his works surely have a great effect on teen culture. Among the movies he wrote/produced/directed, I’ve watched The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, Home Alone, Beethoven, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Dennis the Menace, Beethoven’s 2nd, Miracle on 34th Street, Miracle on 34th Street, Maid in Manhattan. And among them, I still love Ferris Bueller’s Day Off the most. Not just because Matt Broderick is cute. The story, the lively portraiyal of characters made it not only a comedy, ok, a tragic-comedy, but also a movie which stirs your thoughts and forces you to reflect on your life, what’s really important and when shall you take a stand.

Come back to Pretty in Pink a bit. Pretty in Pink is another movie starring many of the so-called Brat Pack actors and actresses. Brat Pack was originated from the term, Rat Pack, referring to a group of popular entertainer between 50s and 60s. Brat Pack are the famous young actors and actresses in the 80s, including Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy and sometimes Tom Cruise, Kevin Bacon, Matthew Broderick, John Cusack, Matt Dillon, Robert Downey Jr., Jodie Foster, Diane Lane, Charlie Sheen, James Spader are considered Brat Packs. It’s a age I missed but was always aware of. Those are the people I’m familiar with their path but at the same time not history book to me. The youthful, energetic, dreamy 80s.

這兩天終於看了久仰大名的華爾街, 由 Oliver Stone 執導, Charlie Sheen 與我一向不怎麼喜歡的 Michael Douglas 主演. Martin Sheen 在本片飾 Charlie Sheen 的爸爸, 父子連袂演出感覺真不錯! 還有 Daryl Hannah 這位長相粗獷 (有些照片看起來很像金髮的 John Travolta)聲音卻總是沙啞溫柔飾演主要女配角. 另外本片的驚喜應該要算是 James Spader 演 Charlie Sheen 的大學同學 Roger.

Wall Street 在描繪八九零年代那陣不顧一切追求短期利潤的美國資本社會. 投機, 內線交易, 股市操縱… 為了賺更多又更多的錢種種的不擇手段. 主角是年輕有野心不甘一輩子平凡的交易員, 結識了 corporate raider Gordon Gekko, 淺嘗了所謂成功的滋味 – Upper east 的頂樓公寓, 美人相伴. 他找到了他夢想的生活, 也同時開始失去自我的原則. 這部電影討論財富權勢與單純誠實的衝突, 在努力工作最多也只能到達平庸的境地的這樣的一個世界裡, 人們可以向自己妥協到何種地步, 你要怎麼找到那條在傷害人之前能獲得最大收益的界線?

The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that: Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right; greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms, greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge — has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed, you mark my words — will save not only Teldar Paper but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.
– Gordon Gekko

* 在翻 James Spader 的 filmagraphy 時, 發現 1990 年的 Bad Influence 是他跟 Rob Lowe (TWW小生) 一起演的, 再看下去, 發現 Marcio Cross (my fav Bree in DH) 也在裡面, 真是有趣的驚喜.

Peter Lehmann 2004 Clancy’s Red (Shiraz 43% Cab 42% Merlot 15%), Australia
Bodega Norton 2004 Reserva Malbec, Argentina

I have a head for business and a body for sin.
Is there anything wrong with that?

總歸而言是一個勵志向上的故事, 但在現實社會中, 只有志氣是不夠的. 必須要有機運要有點子, 有時還需要些手段. 當然故事中的主角是因為被惡劣對待而激發起不顧一切的決心, 用外表的偽裝與誤導來讓自己的聲音被聽見. 中間經過了些挫折, 但終究還是給我們一個讓人微笑的結局. 也許情節已經太老套太可預料了 (畢竟那是二十年前的電影啊!) 但能夠看看那些影星(當時可能一點也不出名呢!)二十年前的樣子, 也是很有趣的!

小時候我非常喜歡 Melanie Griffins. 她永遠都那麼柔軟而甜美. 然而她似乎總是差了那麼一點, 躍不上一線影星的行列. 她與 Ed Harris 合演的 Milk Money 我十分喜歡, 因為兩個都是我心儀卻紅不起來的演員. 除了 Melanie 之外本片還有非常漂亮的 Sigourney Weaver, 無論如何都很討厭的 Harrison Ford, Alec Baldwin 倒是沒怎麼變, Joan Cusack 個人風格非常突出, 跟現在差不多. 還有 David Duchovny 喔! 不過我完全沒注意到他. Kevin Spacey 也在其中飾演一個小角色, 那時的頭髮真多, 我看到時還以為只是個長得很像 Kevin Spacey 的人… XD

[updated] 蠻喜歡 Rita Kempley 在 Washington Post 的Working Girl review 兩段簡介. Continue Reading »

生命中最大的悲慟莫過於：你悄悄緊守，像一個神秘的誓諾，年輕時想像的某種美好品德，卻在流光最後的揭牌時刻，證明它只是一像從鞋底脫落開口的生膠墊，被摯愛之人視若敝屣，無滋無味，啪嗒啦嗒拖在足趾裸露出的腳下。它成為贅物，卻已是你過了一個年齡後甩不掉的，整個人的一部分了……

譬如忠誠。譬如不忍之心。譬如討好那些我不喜歡但妳喜歡之人……

啊，我記得… ◎駱以軍

這首歌忽然大量地出現在我身邊.
(Written by Bart Howard)
Fly me to the moon And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my life with song And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you

常常有這種遙望的感覺. 一語不發的凝視, 靜靜的.
彷彿眼神就能改變什麼, 也許沒有想要改變什麼.
輕輕地看著, 而四周也悄然,
如睡夢中極大的黑暗裡一道溫和的光芒, 只有我和你, 輕輕.
在人群裡吧, 所有無關的事物一一模糊了,
這是具像化的 “只你有意義”.
那道光線牽著連著 卻又那麼容易四散.

怎麼呢, 世界還在轉繞啊.
人們還在旁踏步交談啊.

那些隱而未明的心音, 是否會在交錯的視線裡悄悄洩露?

(本來邊看邊記些小東西, 結果開個 Espetus 的網站 firefox 當掉, 也沒存成草稿 /_\)

爆鏟好多, 一直倒

sheva 終於擺脫一臉自責的表情 :)
glad to have you on board finally
雖然第一球是對方失誤, 但他終於果決地 went for it and goal!!

LP 漂亮晃過門將(他也跑太出來了吧@@) 耍了後衛, 直搗空門! (他該剪頭髮了, 糟老頭似的) 下半場加時 LP 再 Goal, 傳統比分!!!

Drogba 是不是很怕冷, 總是穿長袖, 連手套都出來了 XD

老大每一球都有跳起來, 真不錯.

總結, 配合上漸漸找到感覺了, Cech 歸隊好像讓大家士氣大振. 屠殺弱隊拿傳統比分感覺很爽, 下一步就是在強隊手下拿到傳統比分吧!

Blue is the Colour.

世界上所有語言中，都有相同的諺語：『眼不見為淨。』我倒認為一點道理也沒有。有些我們盡力壓抑淡望的感覺如果放得越遠，其實就更貼近自己的心。如果我們流亡他鄉，就越想將家鄉的點點滴滴回憶收藏起來。如果遠離了心愛的人，街上路過的每個人都會讓你回想到愛人。
– Paulo Coelho

我們盡力壓抑淡望的感覺如果放得越遠，其實就更貼近自己的心。
路上每一個背影都像是他。